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Conviction and Disgrace   or   A Matter of Choice and Change

 

During this very public and extensive coverage of Tiger Woods public apology regarding his adulterous affairs, it would seem almost impossible to avoid the invitations extended by others to weigh in on “what do you think of Tiger Woods apology?”

Tiger Woods’ public apology has, if nothing else opened the door for couples to address their own awkward discussions regarding where they stand on the matter of extramarital affairs, and ones level of commitment in their own intimate relationships.

 

I have personally been curious how many people have been ask questions about the buzz as they go about their daily lives and have had to comment on the news story. Even having a casual conversation about our bombardment of Tiger Woods news, people may find themselves unknowingly disclosing personal information about themselves and the true identity of their character when they make casual comments about extramarital affairs of celebrities.

 

In the workplace we want to be authentic, a team player, neutral, and always non-offensive to any group, then at home may feel an undo amount of pressure from a mate, who by now is influenced by the news coverage, take more liberty and force a discussion on the topic.  This is an unfair fight in the making and has the potential for unwanted conflict to say the least.

 Who would have known – all the Tiger Woods Buzz could lead to problems in MY relationship

On February 19, 2010, Tiger Woods presented a long awaited public announcement to apologize for his highly publicized adulterous liaisons.  Watch Tiger Woods public apology.

 

In brief, he verbalized a formal apology to the general public at large, his family, his children, to the professional sport of Golf, to those who admire him for his expertise in Golf, and he made it clear his behavior has greatly impacted his sponsors.

 

“I was selfish”

“I felt entitled because of what I have accomplished and accumulated”

 

“I was unfaithful”

 

“I am sorry”

 
 

Do you think Tiger Woods apology was sincere?

 

If in the same situation, would you stay with a mate who cheated?

 

What would be the first step for you, in your relationship, if an affair was discovered?

 

“What is the big deal?” many have questioned

 

I’ll tell you.  One marriage on the edge, the temporary emotional instability of parents to two children, a discussion of how Divorce impacts children and commercial sponsorships in excess of $25 Million annually.  And, not to mention what impact this type of story may have on YOUR relationship.

If there is a past of adulterous affairs, this type of news reporting may trigger old emotions even if the relationship has moved past that part of the relationship years ago and previously expressed feelings of forgiveness to one another.

If you are in a unstable relationship any discussion concerning the Tiger Woods adulterous behavior may become awkward

 
If in a relationship which one partner may feel there is not enough commitment could lead to undo questioning behavior, and new demands perceived as pressure to conform

Everyone Has A Opinion
Public Opinion:  The focus in the polls report 37% of woman based on a CNN Poll approve of Tiger Woods Public Apology and combined with both men and woman 60% approve that Tiger Woods public apology was sincere and appropriate.

 

Out of a total of 4188 votes calculated by Extra TV on February 20, 2010,   69% believe Elin should Divorce Tiger now that there is evidence of infidelity.  

31% believe Elin should remain in the marriage despite sound evidence of infidelity.

 

Read More:   Should Tiger Woods Wife Leave Him? 

Read More:  The Full Statement

 

When the Famous Apologize for Sex

 

From Tiger Woods to Bill Clinton, public figures who admitted to having affairs.  Watch the Video on the Famous Apologize for extramarital affairs and tell their story!

  1. New York Governor David Paterson admits to affair
  2. Celebrity Hugh Grant linked to Prostitution and extramarital affair
  3. Senator Gary Hart apologizes for extramarital affair on ABC Nightline TV
  4. Religious ICON Jimmy Swaggart apologizes for affair he reports “My sin was done in secret”
  5. Presidential Hopeful John Edwards reports “I made a serious mistake” after evidence he fathered a child in his extramarital affair
  6. Celebrity David Letterman admits to sex with a member on his staff
  7. Aug 17, 1998 Bill Clinton Admits Affair
  8. NJ Governor Jim McGreevey admits to having a homosexual affair
  9. Governor Elliot Spitzer linked to Prostitution Ring
 
Tiger Woods’ admission to having a extramarital affair is not the first, but what the heck lets examine it to discuss its affect on intimate relationships and review a Couples Therapy Basic
 
 
Relationship Plan Couples Therapy
  1. Address conflicts in the relationship honestly
  2. Discuss key relationship dynamics which led to negative feelings of betrayal, and/or other feelings
  3. Mend the relationship / Repair the relationship
  4. Last, and only after a process of repair, should a discussion of dissolution of the relationship be entertained. 
 Reference:  Psychological Precipice (2009)  
 
 
 MENTAL HEALTH:
 

It does not appear at this time Tiger Woods has allowed for an adequate amount of information to be shared in order for outsiders to access his current level of adjustment and stability based on his public scrutiny.  However, we can speculate it would be an extremely difficult adjustment for anyone to navigate.

 
What is clear is Tiger Woods’ emotions observed appeared to be orchestrated for a public display and would stand to reason for someone traditionally private of his public affairs would be less likely to lose emotional control in a public forum.  So, we must only evaluate his words.
 
 
I don’t think it is selfishness  —  It is a LACK OF COURAGE
 
 
I have come to believe if you are not ready to commit to the concept of an all inclusive monogamy, than a marriage is not for you.  The dilemma and concept of selfishness enters into the picture because one person does not have the courage to make their unique individual needs known to their partner.  Then, the reason why someone would keep such important desires hidden is they feel anxiety and fear if they shared those thoughts and deep down desires the other person would be out of there so quick it would make your head spin! Perhaps, but it is more mature to be known and let one’s partner in on the plan so they can make their own decisions.
 
If there is a affair this may not necessarily mean the relationship is over, or the marriage has to terminate, it becomes an opportunity to become more mature; more adult.  To discuss needs and desires and what one truly wants from an intimate relationship without a personal inner filter of fear.  A fear of rejection for taking a risk.  Only less differentiated individuals fail to evolve in their relationships; fail to make significant personal growth advances because they lack courage to self confront themselves in their most intimate relationships.
 
 
 

This and That

 

Have you reached a point where you want to be married for the right reasons?

Is it love, or did you “settle” into the safe relationship?  Did you marry the wrong person?
  

Did you just stop trying?

 

 Are you IN LOVE today?

 What is not being said is most curious to me.  Love is what makes you stay in a relationship.  Typically, a feeling of LOVE is what would dictate behavior.  It is as if a person would go to the edge of existence for the one they love and would never intentionally knowingly enter into behavior to jeopardize the relationship with the object of their desire.
 
Overtime, passion does fade in intimate relationships, and it takes work [hard work but worth it] to keep the fun and passion alive in any relationship.  If love is there many couples make a commitment in advance based on their individual commitment to one another.  
 
  

One Thing Is Certain
Tiger Woods’ public apology has made significant impact.  Even trading on the United States Stock Exchange dipped during the telecast of Woods’ public media apology.  There will be significant financial impact both in annual advertiser endorsements in the tune of $25 Million annually and significant damage to his marriage which must be explored, hopefully with continued Psychological Therapeutic Services.

 
 A choice has already been made, now the individual just has to understand it

 

A choice has already been made, now the individual just has to understand it if the individual deems it important for them to do so.  It is never a wise idea to force people to change because they will not based on someone else’s pressure.  It is easier to just change oneself.   In every situation regardless of what we wish to tell ourselves, we only truely have control over ourselves and not others.
 
 

GET Momentum – Get going

 

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